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WEB160 » Writing Effective Sentences & List Items

Now that we have learned how to write Effective Headlines & Paragraphs, let’s design some sentences and list items.

Designing Sentences

Sentences should be short and to the point.

Online readers seem to be built to understand one idea at a time. They will get confused when they think they have grasped the point, then they read a clause telling them something different.

Sentences should be short and to the point.

Embedding a small sentence inside a larger sentence, to embed one idea within the other, is an effective way to write for the print world. But, doesn’t quite work as effectively for the web world.

See? Sentences should be short and to the point.

When readers are moving right along through your sentence and they come across a clause that starts with “that, who or which”  they are more likely to make mistakes on understanding your point.

See? Sentences should be short and to the point.

Strategies to handle clauses:

1. Remove the clause altogether and turn it into a separate sentence
2. Transform the clause into an introductory “if” or “when” clause
3. Move the clause to the end of the sentence to reduce the distraction from the middle of the sentence

Before:

We also know that each business needs their own unique strategy to help them succeed in the market place, that a well presented design to your brand will help you stand out from the competition and that a successful business in today’s world relies more and more on a well developed and user friendly website.

After:

We know each business needs their own unique strategy to help them succeed in the market place. Therefore, we will create a well presented design to your brand. This will make you stand out from the competition.

We will also build you a well developed and user friendly website. This will make your business successful in today’s world.

Before:

I love to be present when a couple looks over my pictures of their day. It gives me joy to see my photographs make people so happy. Sometimes, a couple looking at photos from their wedding, will gasp with surprise, being bowled over by a wonderful moment captured in an instant and say “This is so great and we didn’t even know you were there.” For me, this is the highest compliment.

After:

I love to be present when a couple looks over my pictures of their day. It gives me joy to see my photographs make people so happy.

A couple looking at photos from their wedding will sometimes gasp with surprise. They may be bowled over by a wonderful moment captured in an instant. They might even say, “This is so great and we didn’t even know you were there.”

This is the highest compliment that someone can give me.

Active vs. Passive Voice

Online readers think in terms of characters carrying out actions that affect objects or other people.

The online reader will be much more comfortable and will make more sense out of the Active Voice:

Active Voice: “the batter (subject) hit (verb) the ball (direct object).”

Passive Voice: “the ball (direct object) was hit (verb) by the batter (subject).”

Designing List Items

Bulleted or numbered lists can be very effective in successive points.

Breaking out a series of important things into a bulleted or numbered list will allow for the user to skim them more easily. They will be able to skip past items they aren’t interested in.

By grouping items together in a list you are visually letting the user know that these items have something in common:

Before:

A bridge connects two local area networks (LANs). The bridge physically joins separate LAN segments, such as two Ethernet cables. We offer four main types of bridges: transparent, encapsulating, translating, and source routing.

After:

A bridge connects two local area networks (LANs). The bridge physically joins separate LAN segments, such as two Ethernet cables.

We offer four main types of bridges:

1. Transparent
2. Encapsulating
3. Translating
4. Source routing

By grouping items together in a list you are visually letting the user know that these items have something in common:

Before:

New in this release are additional items of information about each song, such as encoding options, handheld devices that play these formats, genre, total length of the track, name of the original album the track belonged to, and a summary of any preferences you set in your download profile.

After:

New in this release are additional items of information about each song:

• Encoding options
• Handheld devices that play these formats
• Genre
• Total length of the track
• Name of the original album the track belonged to
• A summary of any preferences you set in your download profile

Data as Text

We all know that reading statistics can be very boring – it can be especially painful when written in paragraph form.

Create a table or a chart of data that someone can compare the data in a visually pleasing manner.